Psychotherapy for achievement, perfectionism and self-worth.

A poor outcome has practical consequences. For some people it also becomes evidence about themselves.

A bad review ruins the weekend. A failed business feels humiliating long after the financial facts are clear. Somebody else’s promotion creates a sense that you are falling behind.

Technology and business provide an endless supply of people who appear to be ahead.

There is always somebody younger, better funded, more senior or moving faster. Comparison can become less about measuring progress and more about finding temporary reassurance that you are not falling behind.

Doing well may have brought praise, independence or a reliable way to reduce conflict at home. For others, it was simply the first place they felt competent.

There is no single explanation for how this develops. The useful question is what achievement currently provides that feels difficult to get elsewhere.

A sabbatical, redundancy, exit, holiday or period of financial security removes some of the urgency that normally organises the day.

People sometimes discover that they don’t know what to do with the space. Taking the work away makes the question of what else matters surprisingly personal.

The same standard can show up at home.

If being competent is central to how you feel okay, criticism from a partner is hard to treat as ordinary feedback. Providing materially may feel like obvious evidence of love while your partner is talking about something else entirely.

The goal is not to make ambitious people less ambitious.

The question is whether the ambition still feels like yours, what happens when you fail and how much authority a result gets to have over how you feel about yourself.