COUPLES THERAPY
Online couples therapy for recurring conflict, distance and relationship strain.
Couples come with recurring arguments, emotional distance, damaged trust or the effect of work and other pressures on the relationship.
Both partners attend so the interaction itself can be worked with directly.
Why couples come
Some couples argue loudly. Others have become very good at avoiding the subjects that matter.
You still run a competent household together. The calendar works. Bills get paid. Children are looked after. Meanwhile, there is less warmth, sex, curiosity or willingness to have a difficult conversation.
Other couples come after a specific rupture, a period of mistrust or because separation has entered the conversation.
What happens in the room
Couples usually arrive with different versions of what is wrong.
The work pays attention to what happens while each person tells the story: who starts explaining, who gives up, what gets heard as criticism and what happens immediately before one person withdraws or the conversation escalates.
We do not need to settle whose account is stronger before working with what happens between you.
Work and the relationship
A demanding job changes a relationship in very ordinary ways.
You miss dinner again. One partner is still checking messages during the evening. A holiday gets planned around a launch. The person doing the work thinks, with good reason, that they are carrying responsibility for the family. The other is tired of living around the job.
Professional pressure can be real without becoming an automatic explanation for everything happening at home.
How I work with couples
Couples therapy is not about arbitrating the relationship or making both people equally responsible for every problem. If a behaviour is damaging the relationship, that needs to be named clearly.
Both partners need enough willingness to look at their own part. They do not need to arrive equally enthusiastic about therapy.
Individual or couples therapy?
Come individually when you want to understand your own behaviour or your partner does not want to attend. Come as a couple when both of you want to work directly on the relationship.
Practicalities
Couples sessions are online. Weekly sessions usually last 50–60 minutes. Biweekly sessions can be 90 minutes. We agree the format before ongoing work begins.
I also confirm that couples therapy is appropriate for the situation and that I can professionally work with you based on where you are located.
Common questions
Do we need to be close to separation?
No. Couples come with recurring conflict, distance, trust problems and other relationship difficulties well before separation.
What if we are already discussing separation?
The work does not assume that staying together is the correct outcome. We can look at what has happened, whether repair is realistic and what each of you wants.
Can I come alone about my relationship?
Yes. That would normally be individual psychotherapy.